Tower Root Beer

 Bottled Root Beers  No Responses »
Apr 042012
 

Wow! A picture of a tower with the caption “Ye olde fashioned root beer”? It just makes me think of old text based RPGs and spoofs of such games. I think, I’ll write the rest of this as if it were a Dungeon Man game, but it’s not, it’s Tower Man!
Thou behold a tower. Thou enter the tower. In the room there is a window, an exit to the north, and a table with a flask and a bottle of old fashioned root beer.
What wouldst thou deau?
>Get ye flask
You cannot get ye flask. You are left wondering why you cannot get ye flask.
What wouldst thou deau?
>Get ye olde fashioned root beer
You pour the root beer into ye flask, for some reason you can now get ye flask of ye old fashioned root beer.

The Head of ye olde fashioned root beer is medium height but gone in mere seconds. The Body is extremely dark and rooty. The dominant flavors are sassafras, licorice, and mint. It’s sort of creamy. There is a strong Bite, both from spices and prickly carbonation on the tongue. The Aftertaste is sticky minty licorice with the faintest traces of vanilla.

You continue to drink ye olde fashioned Tower Root Beer. It definitely tastes ye olde fashioned. It isn’t bad, but not extremely good because you like creamy root beers that have significantly less licorice and much nicer Heads. You decide that if presented with more of this root beer, you’d rather pass and get something else. Hence, you exit the tower in search of better brews. At least you were able to get ye flask. See how it rates against other root beers.




Briar’s Root Beer

 Bottled Root Beers  No Responses »
Mar 282012
 

The third and final brew from Anthony’s package, at least the final one that survived. He had put some Amish root beer in there as well but it spilled everywhere. Probably because it got lost in the mail for so long and I have proof that my mail carrier is grossly negligent and down right destructive of my mail. I think someday I’m going to snap his picture and write a blog post about him and all of the root beer he has destroyed. Anyways, I digress. Back to Briar’s. It has a very simple label that doesn’t really give me much material to go on. “Great Soda Since 1937” We’ll see about that.

It’s a medium Body in this brew with a distinct caramel flavor. Then it gets sour unfortunately. It is also mildly creamy with hints of vanilla. Then comes a sharp and sour carbonation Bite that sadly is rather devoid of spices. The Head is short yet foamy which is ok at best. The Aftertaste is a sour caramel vanilla that lasts too long and is kind of icky.

The first few drinks this are decent but it quickly deteriorates. “Great Soda”? Give me a break. Maybe their company has some other great flavors but this stuff? And why is it so sour? Sodium citrate and citric acid may have something to do with it. But then there are a whole host of other problems with this. The bottle also says “Enjoy!” though I think that is sarcasm. See how it rates against other root beers.




Thomas Kemper Purely Natural Root Beer

 Bottled Root Beers  No Responses »
Mar 212012
 

Back in September, as I was busy searching for new root beers, I discovered Thomas Kemper Purely Natural Root Beer on another reviewers blog. I was surprised, because I had never seen or even heard about this brew and Thomas Kemper is made in Portland, and can be found all over the Seattle area and the Pacific Northwest in general. Nearly every grocery store and gas station carries it. I figured it must be so new that it hadn’t had time to proliferate through the region. I sent the company an email asking which retail outlets carried it, and kept my eye out as I traveled around. After a few months of not seeing it, I sent the company another email asking where I could find it. I got a response from the company president telling me that they had recently discontinued the purely natural line. What?? A gourmet root beer had been born and killed right under my nose before I ever knew it existed? Say it ain’t so! Then it occurred to me, that if it was just recently discontinued, there might still be some bottles floating around out there. I searched Amazon, Ebay, all of the specialty online stores that sell root beer. Nothing. Then I took my search back to a distributor, Real Soda. I noticed it was listed on their site, but so is Journey John Barleycorn and Dr. Tima, both of which are long since dead, but I emailed them nonetheless. To my great joy, they said they still had 11 cases. I quickly made arrangements and ordered a 12 pack, 8 bottles of this stuff and 2 bottles of two other varieties. Whew, that was too close.

The Body of this is weak in the normal root beer flavors but really strong in honey and fruity. I mean there is a very significant citrusy fruity flavor that comes in after the initial flavors and overpowers them. I think this can be blamed on the pectin they put in there for some reason. There isn’t really much Bite, a little carbonation tingle but a distinct lack of spices. The Head is excellent, tall and frothy, and is the one redeeming feature of the brew. The Aftertaste is a fruity honey flavor that lasts far too long. This flavor compounds so the more you drink the stronger it gets and the less you want to drink it.

For comparison, with the second bottle, I had a regular Thomas Kemper side as well, and this is worse in all categories. I mean, it isn’t even remotely like the regular Thomas Kemper. This stuff is really bad. What astounds me is that they start with cane sugar, honey, and maltodextrin, like Bulldog, and still manage to make it horrible. Why did they make it taste overwhelmingly fruity? I don’t know, but thankfully it has been discontinued so the masses can be spared its vileness. Perhaps that is the true reason for it’s demise. See how it rate against other root beers.




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