Sep 162021

Nature's Touch Root Beer Milk I saw someone post a picture of this on Facebook and I curiously asked where I could find it. They said QuikTrip in Minneapolis area. There are tons of those all around me! Alas the downside of driving electric, you have no idea what is being sold in local gas stations anymore. I mean, why would I go there? Root beer milk that’s why. So I did and I bought some. This root beer milk is actually made for QuikTrip, so it’s their house brand. It is also made locally. I have high hopes for a root beer milk. I’ve heard about it before and it seems to me like it could taste a lot like a root beer float if done correctly. So how was it?

It kind of tastes like root beer barrel candy at first sip, but the flavor is weak and off balance. The wintergreen comes through bitter and clashes with the milk flavor. Despite there being a lot of sugar, it doesn’t taste very sweet. It really doesn’t taste good at all.

Yuk! This is bad. Like, really not good. My kids wouldn’t even drink it. I have no idea who thinks this is good or why, but someone must. Yet I think it’s the worst flavored milk I’ve ever had. Stay away, unless you are a glutton for punishment.

Mar 172021

Keto Chow Root Beer Float

I was looking through Amazon for any root beer things and stumbled upon this. I’ve not had a ton of experience with protein drinks and Keto stuff, but it says root beer float flavor so I figured I should try. Maybe this could be the thing for those poor souls who can’t eat sugar and thus are deprived from proper root beer float … shake type things. No actually, I don’t think that’s the market, there’s sugar free root beer and ice cream. I don’t know. Keto diet people will want this, maybe. It said to mix with half a cup of fat and 14 ounces of water and then refrigerate over night for best flavor. I chose heavy whipping cream as my fat source, since that seems to be more root beer floaty. The next morning I decided this would be my breakfast.

It smells kind of like a root beer float. The taste is initially a small hint of root beer, accented by the cream to make it floaty, and then it tastes like whey protein. Like, it’s really a lot of whey protein flavor. It isn’t really sweet, which makes sense, because it’s a protein shake. It’s also really thick and creamy and rich, but because the flavor isn’t particularly good, it gets pretty gross the more you drink.

Ugh! This is… not so good. I think the slight bit of root beer float flavor is actually quite a detriment, and makes it worse than if it were just “original” flavor, whatever that would be. I think maybe chocolate would work, I’ve had chocolate whey protein shake stuff before, but root beer float is a fail, like fail hard. Maybe someone out there enjoys this, but I fear they’ve been on the Keto path so long they’ve forgotten what root beer and root beer floats are about. Anyways, avoid if you can.

Jan 202021

Milk Magic Root Beer Float Straws

A while back I was going through the grocery store and saw these. I think it was a HyVee, but it’s been awhile, I must confess. Anyhow, Magic Straws have been around for over a decade and are supposedly a great way to get kids to drink their milk. They’re extra thick and crimped at the ends with flavor crystals/balls filling them up. So the idea is you stick the straw in the glass of milk, take a sip, and the milk gets flavored as it travels through the flavored … filter? Interesting concept. It says on the package that it’s made in Hungary, which isn’t where I think of when I think of quality root beer float flavored things, but hey, maybe I’ve been missing the robust Hungarian root beer scene. There were four straws in the pack so I let the whole family share in the experience.

The flavor is weak on the first drink. It’s sorta like root beer, but very diluted. If you do small sips, and like I mean, really small sips. It gets sweet and tastes like watered (milked?) down root beer float. The whole process is difficult and unsatisfying.

Okay, why? Why is this a thing? If you want anything out of this at all, you really need to slowly sip. Even still, it’s hard to get a very good root beer float flavor out of it. This whole process seems so unnecessary. Why not just have single serve tubes that you add to 8 ounces of milk and use the straw to stir it up? That would simplify the process and could potentially give a nice root beer float milk. This whole product is trying to solve a problem that doesn’t really exist, and doing so in the least practical way possible. To their credit, my kids did think it was rather neat, but I bet they would have thought it neater if you just dumped it all in, got a better tasting product, and then drank it through the straw, but what do I know?