May 152013

Squamscot Root Beer Bottle Deep in the heart of New Hampshire the five generations of the Conner family have at the Conner Bottling Works churning out Squamscot Old Fashioned Beverages. They called their label Squamscot because, why not? They have 22 different flavors including Fruit Bowl, Yup, and Half and Half, the latter of which sounds absolutely awful, unless they make a coffee soda to mix with it (imitation flavors of course, I don’t drink coffee). The label is very plain and kind of reminds me of the Avery’s label but thankfully they use a few different colors and don’t recycle letters. I’m not sure why they insist on everything being written in a different font but that seems to afflict a lot of small bottlers. Whenever I get a new root beer I think to myself, “this could be the best root beer ever.” This time, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The Body is weak and watery with slight hints of root beer flavors. It’s not good at all. It’s not really anything at all. Then the Bite attacks you. It is a weird, sharp, baking soda-ish Bite. It comes out of nowhere, masking out the other flavors (which is next to nothing to be sure) and bites the tongue, leaving a sort of sickening feeling, and then dissipates into realms unknown. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. The Head is dismal. The first bottle I had was completely flat and the others were hardly better. The Aftertaste is a light cane sugar flavor haunted by the ghosts of the unknown Bite.

Ok, what the heck was that? It’s really hard to find a redeeming feature with this brew, there’s just nothing right about it. I don’t know how they’ve stayed in business so long with this. It must be the Yup sales that keep them afloat. Perhaps they should call the root beer Scumscot instead. See how it rates against other root beers.

One out of five root beer kegs

  6 Responses to “Squamscot Root Beer”

  1. Haha, great funny review. I’ve tried their sarsaparilla and all I can say that it is horrible. I’ve read other reviews on their other sodas and all of them have stated that they are all bad. I just bought a bottle of their orange soda, and all I can do is cross my fingers in hopes that it will be at least decent. I feel bad for this company, because they are a little mom and pop company, but I am sad that their soda is so bad. I hope that they read the reviews on their soda and decide to make a change in formulas… or carbonation – as the carbonation in their soda is very dry and yes it does have a “baking soda” quality to it. Baking soda is actually a very good description of their carbonation. Very funny review, indeed.

    • Iz, I’m glad you like it. Someone must be a fan of some Squamscot beverage, somewhere. Probably.

  2. Actually, of the two sodas I’ve tried from their company, I am not impressed. I just tried their orange soda – and my family did not like it….. although I think I liked it a little more than they. Their orange had a decent flavor, yet it had like no aftertaste and it does have a “baking soda” type of carbonation to it. All in all, it was not the best – I think the best is Sun Crest orange and Nesbitt’s orange. Yes, Squamscot really really need to update their formulas!!!!!!!

  3. not much flavor, leaves quickly. no head. cola after taste.

  4. Your review was spot on. Received a 6-pack recently from dear friends from NH. I knew I was in trouble when I opened the attractive cap on the bottle. I could tell it was flat. Then, I began to pour the root beer and there was barely a hint of head. Still, I took a sip and it was tasteless. First time ever I poured a bottle of root beer down the drain. Had to go on-line and see what others thought and found your review. Can’t understand why “FearNoRootBeer” rated it as high as he/she did. . Give me Sprechers of Wisconsin or Simpson Spring of Massachusetts anytime.

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