Jul 232014

Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer Bottle A pirate themed energy drink root beer, I’ve never seen one of those before. To be fair, I had this one first. At the time ordered it, I thought they were referencing one of my favorite comedy actors, who, to the best of my knowledge has never actually portrayed a pirate. The only other Jack Black was some pirate ghost from an old Disney series that had to go and save 100 lives to avoid damnation. I don’t think that’s what these guys are going for. It does seem a jolly scull and crossbones, so let’s just assume they were envisioning some sort of Nacho Libre-esque film set on the high seas in a ship called the Dead Red with an awkward, incompetent captain (Jack Black) and a delinquent crew. Root beer would somehow be involved. Probably Jack Black’s favorite drink and the crew would always be doing something to it as part of a running gag. And then Jack would yell “Who’s been screwin’ with my brewin’?” or something like that. I’d definitely watch that movie. There are also many humorous sayings written on the bottle like “Second time available in 416 years” … okay, and “Better Dead Red than just plain Dead” which remains to be seen.

This has a nice sweet and creamy Body. After the initial contact however, there is a strange flavor that surfaces and takes away from beauty of the brew. The Bite is too strange. There is too much Guarana in it. The Head is alright. The Aftertaste is of vanilla and Guarana.

Well that is pleasantly surprising. These energy drink type root beers are usually frightening at best but that’s pretty decent. Not Seal of Approval good, but good enough to warrant an occasional bottle on International Talk Like A Pirate Day, for a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon, and similar type activities. See how it rates against other root beers.

Three and a half kegs

Aug 212013

Root Jack Orange Flavored Root Beer Bottle Another pirate themed energy drink root beer. But this adds the twist of orange flavor and vitamin C to fight scurvy. Their website tells the tale of a one Astrea Valentine who through ruthless cunning and good looks, was able to seize control of a pirate vessel. She kept her crew scurvy free by giving them RootJack because root beer was evidently something that existed in the 17th century Caribbean. Maybe Columbus brought it there from Milligan’s Island. The bottle is pretty sick, sporting a pirate queen with cannon and sword and jagged letters. I must say I’ve not had very good experiences with energy drink root beers, nor pirate root beers for that matter (though Jack Black’s is the noted exception to both), and only once had orange peel in a brew so my expectations were not high. Perhaps it would surprise me like Cherry Root Bear…

First thing to noticed is that the Head is impressive, most impressive. Dare I say, perfect! It’s super tall, frothy, and lasts about forever. It rivals the best root beer Heads I’ve ever seen. So far so good. The Body has a strong and sour orange flavor that quickly masks out all others. As that fades, guarana and more standard root beer flavors begin to surface, mixed with some gross herbal notes. The Bite is solid but wrong. It burns with acid and herbs and isn’t pleasant. The Aftertaste is a super sour orange with a nasty medicinal herb flavor. Gross.

And then they lost it, big time. This root beer is just so wrong. Way too much sour orange, the gross herbal mix, the acid burn, the weak root beer flavors. Sadly it exceeded my gross expectations, which were not high to start with. But the bottle is really cool and that impressive Head earns it another half a keg to be sure. See how it rates against other root beers.