Oct 212015
 

Journey Desert Sage Root Beer BottleThis is the second root beer that I had from the Journey folks. The first one I tried I liked about as well as a punch in the face from the guy that both stole my high school sweetheart and disrespected my grandmother, not that that ever happened, but I’m sure that’s the sort of situation that would make me feel like I felt drinking the first bottle of Journey Root Beer that I drank. Needless to say I had high expectations for this one, not in a good way, but high hopes that this would set a new low in root beer vileness. I mean, they use desert sage in this one, which I can’t imagine would be a good thing at all. Supposedly the Native Americans/American Indians/First Nation/Whatever used to do that as well, or so the bottle claims. But then again, they’d also eat raw deer intestines.

The Body has a gross fruity medicine like flavor which is painful to drink. It is thankfully rather watery for if it were stronger I would probably have puked. It doesn’t really have a Bite, and there is no Head to speak of whatsoever. In all honesty it is the worst root beer head I have ever seen. There is not much Aftertaste but what is there is bad.

How they can even pretend that this is root beer? I agree with the bottle that this is a “Historic Brew” as in the history of root beer few brews have been so vile. I think I may actually prefer raw deer guts to it … maybe not. The bottle is pretty but it was so awful in so many other aspects as to negate half of the keg awarded for the prettiness of the bottle. The company has since gone out of business. I nearly had a heart attack and died of not surprise. See how it rates against other root beers.

Half a root beer keg.




Oct 142015
 

Square Root London Root Beer Bottle A rare find indeed is this brew. All the way from the London borough of Hackney. That’s right another UK brew. They are as rare as they are awful, historically speaking, though this could be just the brew to break that losingest of streaks. I mean, it seems like they’re going for a pun, Square Root and root beer, and I just love puns. Plus a math pun with the square root sign on the label. That’s pretty … radical … The rest of label is way cool too, what with those nifty plants and bordered text. You can’t see it in the picture, but the label is textured so it feels really nice on the fingers. But then again, there are things that don’t bode so well for them. Square Root London Soda was started in 2012 with ginger beer as their first flavor, which kind of dashes the whole pun, though not entirely as ginger is a root. The math is still cool. But then there’s this on the label: “Root Beer is not for everyone. If you like it you probably don’t understand why you like it but you just do. Sit back, think rooty thoughts & enjoy this medicinal mix of unusual flavors.” Yeah, um that’s not generally the best way to introduce something that you think is amazing. The ingredients listed seem legit though, so who knows.

This has a Body that is sour with lots of bitter root and herb flavors mixed together like so much medicine. There’s a lot of strange complexity to it but none of it do I find pleasant. The Bite is lacking though it isn’t smooth. There’s some spice presence but it doesn’t really bite as it were. The Head, however, is a wonderful exception that makes it look like a proper root beer when poured. The Aftertaste is more bitter, medicinal flavours, sourly fading but not quickly enough.

Ugh. that was painful. I know that most English despise a good root beer, but I can’t imagine that they’d think that this tastes like the fine brews I enjoy. It seems that despite promising ingredients of sarsaparilla, wintergreen, vanilla, and caramel (amongst others) their description of “unusual” and “medicinal” and “not for everyone” is spot on. At least they realize it. It does have a very pretty bottle though. See how it rates against other root beers.

1.5 out of 5 kegs




Oct 072015
 

Goose Island Root Beer Bottle One of the earlier mail order root beers. I think I got it before my mission but I can’t remember anymore. It came in a variety pack. Back then I’d buy three bottles of four different varieties in a 12 pack. This is another root beer from Chicago. I think Chicago may have the most brands of gourmet root beer coming out of it of any city. I’m not sure why that is. The label doesn’t say much, there’s a goose, and it looks like a wooden keg and then there’s the whole “Hand Crafted”. What does that even mean? They pour the ingredients by hand? They stir by hand? And what isn’t “hand crafted”? Machine crafted? Foot crafted? Paw crafted (in the case of Sea Dog)? I somehow doubt, that even in the largest of soda bottling factories, that no hands are involved in the process. But, If someone ever finds out about what this really means, please let me know. It also says “Fresh Draught” off to the side. The only other brew I’ve ever seen spell draft as draught is my beloved Henry’s, so they get some extra props for that.

It has a nice sweet, smooth Body that was a little tangy. Wonderful Bite and a strange but pleasant Aftertaste. The Head however was horrible.

I find it ironic that the Head is the weakest part of this when it says on the neck of the bottle “Creamy Head Root Beer” which it clearly isn’t. Other than that it’s a decent “Hand Crafted” brew, though a bit strange at times. I’d put it as an average gourmet root beer. Good with food, but nothing to seek out. See how it rates against other root beers.

Three and a half kegs